Preface
Certainly, here's a polished version of the text: Men, regardless of their country or region, often have a particular affinity for being referred to as "daddy" in the bedroom.
According to a 2005 statistical report on reproductive behavior released by UNECE, approximately 67% of men assumed the role of "daddy" in the bedroom before becoming fathers in real life.
For most people, this preference is primarily about deriving pleasure. After all, it reflects power dynamics within patriarchal societies. The title "Dad" often connotes decision-making authority, status and inviolability.
However, there are exceptions. In BDSM culture exists a subset not just interested in homosexuality but also particularly invested in playing out the roles of "caregiving parents" and "children being taken care of". This is known as DDLG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl), which we will explore today.
A desire to care that has nowhere to put it
As defined by Wikipedia, DDLG is a unique type of BDSM relationship where the dominant partner assumes a nurturing or caregiving role (mom or dad) and the submissive partner takes on the role of a "child". It provides an outlet for an innate desire to care for others.
The core of DDLG is that the submissive party chooses to regress to a younger, more child-like mentality, while giving up a certain amount of control and letting himself be "taken care of" by the dominant party. The scene after both parties enter this state is generally called "little space" .
Of course, DDLG is a general term, and it does not mean that there are only male daddy and female girl. In fact, according to the actual situation, it is divided into:
MDLG: Mom and little girl
DDLG: Dad and little girl
DDLB: Dad and Little Boy
MDLB: Mom and little boy
Some readers may ask, CGL (Caregivers\littles) also refers to the relationship between playing "father/mother" and "child". Is there any difference between it and ddlg?
Yes, there is. In short, CGL is the general name for this type of age play role play. It may be about BDSM, or it may not involve it, such as simply liking some children's toys, pacifiers, and being kissed and held. Gao Gao and so on.
But DDLG is strongly related to BDSM. In addition to childlike imitation, there is also a certain amount of power exchange. For example, the submissive must do something according to the caregiver's wishes, or receive punishment for not completing something, etc. .
The picture below can clearly illustrate the relationship between the three:
Consensus and bottom line
In the DDLG community, there is a bottom line that has been reached for a long time:
The participants in the relationship must all be adults who are acting as children rather than being actual pedophiles.
This is to draw a clear line with "pedophilia", because in major foreign DDLG communities, the most common accusation is "pedophilia".
Despite the above statement, many people still believe that the caregivers in DDLG are actually pedophiles, but they do not dare to do anything that violates the law, so they settle for the next best thing and find adults. Come play children.
In response to this problem, we can actually think about it from another angle: Many people let their partner act as a dog or a cat in the bedroom, wearing folding cat ears and tails to enhance the interest, but in fact we don’t want to interact with them. A real dog or cat to have sex with, no?
No matter what we are playing, in the final analysis we love each other as a person.
You may be curious, why do some people like DDLG? What is their mentality? I have compiled some cases of practicing DDLG relationship to share with you.
(All the cases are from reddit community)
bess
For me personally, ddlg is a way for me to experience the missing parts of my life.
My childhood was extremely broken and it caused me a lot of trauma. I didn't get the care and love that other children did.
I never had the opportunity to act coquettishly with my parents, nor did I receive any gifts on my birthday.
But DDLG gave me an outlet, a chance to relive it all, and as an adult back to being a child, I was also given the opportunity to say a "safe word" when I felt enough was enough. It's great to be able to return to reality at any time through safe words.
My DDLG relationship has nothing to do with sex at all. I just enjoy the state of being able to rely on an "adult", acting like a spoiled brat to my "dad", losing my temper, and then being repaired and loved by him.
No matter what others think or say, I admit that some people use their childhood to heal their whole lives, and some people use their whole life to heal their childhood.
killme
The reason I like DDLG is because my job is to take care of children all the time, so sometimes I want to be taken care of like a child.
I like all "childish" things, including cartoons, pacifiers, building blocks, etc. This is why I became a kindergarten teacher. In addition, my personality is a bit like that of a child. Sometimes I am reckless and lack of thinking, so I always hope to have someone like "Daddy" in my intimate relationship.
He is calm, authoritative, can help me make decisions, and I feel at ease when I see him.
Later I entered into such a relationship.
In fact, we rarely emphasize the identity of DDLG during sexual intercourse, but in daily life, he will really treat me as a child, such as taking me to children's clothing stores, kissing and patting me on the head from time to time, etc.\
Carter
I hate kids, but I love it when my partner plays kid. This allows me to release my unplaced desire to take care of others. I hope I can hold her in my hand 24 hours a day. I won’t go into details, just read the message I sent her.
Syble
My little girl is a typical brat, and I spend every day trying to make her obedient and find ways to punish her.
We are about to get married and the feelings I get from my DDLG relationship are:
When we think about rough sex in the bedroom, or pulling her hair to make her call her daddy, we all want to be that daddy.
But in a real DDLG relationship, the identity of "dad" means responsibilities that go far beyond these things.
When she is 100% dependent on you like a child and needs you to make every little decision for her;
When she is unwilling to think like a child and pushes everything she encounters onto you;
When she cries like a child for no reason and needs you to calmly find clues from her madness and then comfort her;
No amount of patience will be greatly consumed.
Everyone loves being called daddy in the bedroom, but the truth about DDLG is that you almost actually get to be their daddy.
The truth about DDLG is that you need to know when to pamper her over your head, know when to punish her harshly, and always have her to lean on.
Attached is the sad journey of how to spruce a "brat little girl".
Oink
Why do you have to have a reason to like something? Would it be more correct to have a legitimate reason? What I'm trying to say is, "We are two adults and we entered into this relationship safely and with mutual consent."
This is all I understand about DDLG.
End
To summarize, today we have popularized the DDLG branch of BDSM. It is a role-playing intimate relationship in which two adults play the role of "caregiver" and "child" respectively.
Although they often call each other "Dad/Mom", it is completely different from "calling Dad" in the ordinary sense. It is a way of getting along with each other from the psychological state of "child" and "guardian". .
It can be related to sex or not, but it must involve the exchange of power. One party transfers the power of being disciplined and ordered, and the other party takes on the responsibility of care and guidance.
Personally, I think this should be a particularly tiring intimate relationship, but I believe that for people you really like, you should find it pleasant to get along with them.
As Oink said, it is a decision made by two adults under the premise of safety and informed consent. All we can do is wish them a mutually enjoyable journey.
- FINISH -
Author：GG
Reference：
1. Holiday, Sybil; Henkin, Bill; Henkin, William A. (1996).
2. Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely.
3. San Francisco: Daedalus Publishing Company. p. 60. ISBN 978-1-881943-12-9 OCLC 39923440.
4. https://www.reddit.com/r/ddlg/comments/