We have done a popular science issue before, 【R18】Guide to dirty talks: just a few words can make your partner excited
It briefly explains what dirty talk is and what kind of dirty talk partners like in the bedroom.
However, many friends still said that when playing with their partners, they wanted to say something to spice things up, but their minds often went blank, and they hesitated for a long time and fell into the embarrassment of silence.
So today we will add some tips on "dirty talk" and tell you how to speak "dirty words" well in the bedroom.
First, let’s make some explanations in advance to prevent misunderstandings.
- Dirty talk definitely does not mean swearing. It is a "shaming language that can arouse the other person's lust." Although it sometimes arouses the other person's sense of shame through derogatory methods, this definitely requires strong emotional perception. Strength and language skills, rather than just yelling "fuck" and "idiot" under normal cognition.
- The purpose of "dirty talk" between partners must be for pleasure, such as arousing each other's sense of shame and taboo, allowing each other to enter a more interesting state, etc., but if it is just for the sake of belittlement, belittlement, and humiliation for the sake of humiliation If you try to trample the other person's dignity to strengthen your own self-esteem, you will fall into the whirlpool of "verbal violence" and "identity chauvinism". This is not the goal we pursue.
Now that we understand our goal - "to use dirty talk to increase the pleasure of playing", next we need to understand the "forbidden zone" of "dirty talk" - the situation where saying it will seriously damage the atmosphere, and it is better not to say it.
Restricted area one:
Don’t use the other person’s real shortcomings to belittle the other person in dirty talk
For example, suppose GG and AA are playing k9play. GG's limbs are fixed and he can only crawl on the bed like a kitten. At this time, AA holds up GG's chin with a smirk and says to him, "Oh, Why my little cat so stupid? He can't even stand up."
At this time, GG is likely to feel, Oh my god, it’s so shameful. He usually walks swiftly, but now he can only be trampled upon, and yet he’s been spoken out. He wants to bury himself in the soil.
But if GG is born with a disability, his legs and feet are not good, and he usually has to use a wheelchair, then if AA says to him, "Why are you so stupid, you can't even stand up?" This is not a dirty talk, I'm afraid GG is planning to kill AA.
Because this derogation goes beyond the scene of lust and becomes a kind of verbal violence that inflicts real personal suffering. Just as teacher Li Yinhe said: "Imprisonment is just suffering for those who have lost their freedom; only for those who are free, imprisonment is May be established as a kind of lust.”
By extension, for people who are really poor, such as college students who spend half a month's living expenses to buy toys to play with their partners, the partner's dirty talk cannot say to them, "You are so poor, you can't even afford xxx."
On the contrary, if a person who has no worries about food and clothing and financial freedom comes to play with you, you temporarily confiscate his mobile phone and wallet, causing him to not be able to even buy a cup of coffee when he goes shopping with you. At this time, you say to him, "People who usually don't even blink when buying a car are sometimes in such embarrassment. It's really useless. They don't even have money to buy coffee."
At this time, the disparagement in this dirty talk is established. It is virtual and unreal, causing shame but not anger.
Therefore, the first rule to follow when talking about "dirty talk" is, "Only belittle virtual shortcomings, but not laugh at real difficulties."
Forbidden area two:
Dirtytalk cannot touch the other party's bottom line
A classic example is: years ago, a female S said to a male M, "Why are you so useless, little waste? Your parents must also be waste to give birth to you."
As a result, the man got so angry that he beat the woman and went to the police station. Male M said, you can belittle me, but you can't talk about my parents.
Regardless of who is right or wrong in the incident, this leads to the second forbidden area of Dirtytalk - to carefully understand the partner's psychological forbidden areas and bottom lines, so as to bypass them and not touch them.
Everyone's restricted area is different. Some people don't want to talk about their family members, and some people don't want their real names to appear in dirty talk...
The same sentence, "Tsk tsk tsk, look at what you look like now, I really want your family/friends/colleagues to see it too." For some people, it may be very satisfying, but for others, it may make them bow their heads in an instant. .
This requires us to have very thorough communication with the partner before dirty, instead of starting directly with confidence.
Now that we’ve talked about the restricted areas, let’s share a few tips to make your Dirtytalk more attractive.
Make good use of imperative sentences.
We all know that imperative sentences are short and have command attributes, which is a sentence pattern naturally suitable for Dirtytalk. For example:
"Look at me and put your hands behind your back."
"Don't move, I didn't ask you to move."
…
Of course, good use means using it when it should be used. If it is abused, it will easily become greasy. "Girl, I order you to dress me."
I have summed up a way to avoid being greasy, which is to add "please" in front of the sentence and say the strongest command in the most polite tone.
"Now please go get the whip."
"Please remain in this position until I give you permission to rest."
…
Find ways to create contrast
Many readers said that they realized how lacking in language talent they were on the spot, and racked their brains but couldn't come up with a dirty talk.
Let me share an opportunistic method, which is to create a contrast, find out what is different about him or her, and then use this as an entry point.
Some templates are summarized as follows:
(1) Turn over position
"Brother/sister usually looks down on me so much, but now he is begging for mercy from me."
(2) Personality gap type
"You're usually aloof, aren't you? Why are you like this now?"
(3) Turn over old accounts
"Before you met me, you were clearly wearing a suit and leather shoes and were serious about words. Who would have thought that in just a few months, you would become xxxx, xxxx."
In short, as long as there is a contrast, dirty talk will be useful.
Okay, today I will share with you some tips for dirty talk in the bedroom. I hope you will be full of lust and love, and hurry up and have a try with Aite’s partner~
- FINISH -
Author：GG